World Affairs Roundup with Beavis and Butthead

... with some assistance from Howard Fienberg

Feb 14, 1996, Issue 25

BU: Huh, hu, um, we're, like, talking about world affairs and stuff.

BE: Heh, heh, yeah! That would be cool!

BU: OK First is [Butthead pauses] Bossss ... nia. Peace. Peace??

BE: No way, Butthead, its MASSACRE! Heh, heh, heh, yeah, kill!

BU: Be quiet Beavis! They like signed a peace treaty and stuff: The Dayton Agreement.

BE: But I saw it on TV, like, bones sticking out of the mud. Heh, heh, like, DEAD!

BU: That was a Metallica video, dumbass!

[SMACK]

BE: OW! No it wasn't! It was on that, like, heheh, lamo British news channel. Ummmmm... BBC?

BU: English people. They're like a bunch of wankers!

BE: Oh, heheheheheh, yeah! What's a wanker, Butthead?

BU: Next is the Aegean sea. Greece and Tureky wanted to fight about, um, a rock?

BE: It was like Thanksgiving and stuff, and , heheh, the US kicked ass.

BU: No stupid, we made them quit. Stop screwing around Beavis!

BE: Yeah, that was cool. We, like, rule and stuff.

BU: Next is Burundi, where the UN is, like, doing stuff, and stuff.

BE: Yeah, they're like trying to keep the Hutsis and Tutus from killing each other.

BU: Shut up, Buttmunch. Killing people is cool! I was watching this cop show on TV, and they shot this guy six times before he, like, died oozing blood and stuff. Huhuhuhuhuh, that like, doesn't suck.

BE: Hey Butthead, how about the glowing frogs?!

BU: Oh, huh, huh, like, our last topic is France. They like dropped six nuclear bombs and stuff.

BE: PLOP! Hehg, heh, heh, BOOM! KABOOM!

BU: and people got mad and stuff.

BE: Yeah, and like now they want everyone else to stop shooting their wads!

BU: Huh, huh, huh, you said "shoot their wads"! Huh, huh, huh. Like, next time, we'll be talking about Singapore. They're like DUSA. They, like, love to spank their monkeys.

BE + BU : Duh-dahdunh! dunananananu -


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