New year, new love? The start of a new decade is the perfect time to reevaluate your dating game. You may not be aware of it, but small habits can hold you back from finding love. Here are toxic dating behaviors you need to let go of in 2020.
1. Ghosting
It’s time to grow up and stop leaving people hanging. A professional matchmaker in Boston says that people usually ghost because they’re emotionally unavailable or the other person simply doesn’t fit their type. Regardless of your intent, ghosting is just another passive-aggressive tactic practiced by people who can’t handle confrontation. It’s insensitive and can diminish the other person’s self-esteem.
There’s nothing wrong with not liking someone back. But if you’re planning on rejecting or dumping them, the least you can give them is closure.
2. Being always late
Your punctuality shows that you value the other person’s time and that you’re true to your word. Showing up late can make your date feel like you don’t actually care about this date and you’re better off doing other things. How will your potential partner know that you’re reliable on more important things if you can’t even be on time?
3. Requiring boys to make the first move
For the nth time, let women do whatever they want. Many dating rules are rooted in outdated gender roles that don’t have to exist in the first place. Making the first move lets women celebrate their sexuality and take control of their love lives. It makes dating easier for both parties, too, knowing some men can get too chicken to ask a girl out. At the end of the day, women deserve to be just as happy and empowered as any guy.
4. Requiring always pay the bill
Research shows that men tend to pay for dates “even after they have been dating for some time.” While offering to pay for the first date can get you plus points, making it a constant habit is unnecessary, not to mention financially unhealthy for you. Some women would even argue that it’s anti-feminist to assume that only one gender can take full responsibility over joint expenses. Splitting the bill shows that no one is taken advantage of. This practice might also reinforce gender stereotypes on your relationship in the future. Splitting the bill on dates may seem trivial compared to other relationship woes but doing so proves that both parties are in a healthy, mutually respectful, not to mention less expensive relationship.
5. Online Stalking
Nowadays, it’s easier to fish for anyone’s digital footprint thanks to social media. On the one hand, a little snooping has its perks. It can help you identify what matters most to your date or if you have similar interests. On the other hand, an intensive background check leads you to construct a preconceived and unfair image of their identity without having even met them. Although keep in mind that all online content is curated content which means you can’t fully know a person based on their Instagram profile.
Dating is all about having fun together. It’s an opportunity to welcome new people in your life. Whether you’re on your first date or 27th, make sure you give your potential partner the respect and attention they deserve.
